


Lost Solo

by Chasing_White_Dragons



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben was raped, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:56:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22065127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chasing_White_Dragons/pseuds/Chasing_White_Dragons
Summary: Following the destruction of Palpatine and the First order, Ben returns home to the Rebel Base mostly dead. Rey and Leia do not leave his side, waiting for him to wake.
Relationships: Ben Solo/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 8
Kudos: 36





	Lost Solo

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo...this is my first fanfiction in years and I would really appreciate any feedback. I am also new to the star wars fandom, though I watched all the older ones when I was a kid. I really hope y'all enjoy it! I hope to kinda follow it up with more hurt/comfort and sickfics cos I just think they're such an adorable couple (and I never like straight couples lmao).

Rey had become accustomed to sleeping next to the limp body of former Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren since dragging his limp and near lifeless body back to the rebel headquarters with her following the final confrontation with Palpatine. It had been nearly two months since the fall of the Empire...nearly two whole months since the catastrophic shift in the universe which had somehow linked she and Kylo, Ben, as she had begun to call him in her head, together. She now knew that for better or for worse they were connected, even now, still no closer to waking than he had been months ago she could feel his mind present somehow, tugging at the corners of her own. 

She replayed the last moments of the battle in her head, Palpatine’s body crumpling to the ground, the strange presence in her chest...the feeling of someone else’s life beating through her own veins. She remembered looking up, seeing the rebel forces overtaking the first order and the last of their fleet of star destroyers falling from the sky. Rey recalls how she felt as she clutched Ben to her chest, inexplicable tears leaping to her eyes for the man she had grown up learning to fear and yet, she couldn’t find it in her to feel anything but terror at his impending death. His self-sacrifice, his life for hers, freely given. Her tears fell on his cheeks, and she could feel his life slipping through her fingers though somehow she was managing to hold the invisible wound shut, holding his force in his body, not letting his soul escape.

Rey told herself that she was trying to save him for Leia, that she couldn’t bear the loss of her only son, the only part of Han that she had left but truly she was doing it for herself too. After having lived in his head, and he in hers, for so long she knew more about him than she cared to admit, and at times felt pangs of guilt for his lost youth and the years and years of pain he had endured as the figurehead of the first order. She had seen Hux in his room, holding him down, and how helpless and angry he had felt as he washed the stink of the general off of himself, silent tears rolling down his cheeks mingling with the sticky remains of Hux on his face. He had felt disgusting and helpless. He hadn’t been much older than sixteen. Rey had been there over and over, watching the hurt and anger grow every time Hux would force himself into Ben’s bedroom, the strongest force user in the world wracked with pain and guilt and self-loathing unable to even bring himself to sit up as Hux let himself out, pulling his uniform back on and telling Ben how much he had enjoyed himself and to pull himself together. 

Rey had been there too when Ben had begun training with the First Order, though she hadn’t known who he was at the time, convinced she was going crazy as the visions persisted unaware of who had taken up residence in her brain. She had been there to witness the cruelty, pushed to breaking point over and over by Snoke. The belittling, name-calling, and abuse...the pain. Rey had cried herself to sleep to the images of Ben bloodied and vomiting, unable to move from the puddle of his own bodily fluid unable to get them out of her head, not yet aware of how to protect her mind from the connection that seemed evident between herself and the other force user. 

Rey dragged herself out of her thoughts, her back stiff from sitting in the chair beside Kyo Ren’s body. He wasn’t healing as she had hoped, his wounds still open months after the fact due to the loss of life. Rey could feel him growing stronger painfully slowly. She lay her head on the bed beside the fallen enemy, clasping his hand in hers (though it took two of her small hands to cover his one hand) and letting sleep overtake her once again. 

  
  
  


Leia walked into the med bay, seeing Rey again slouched over the body of her son. Grabbing the blanket that had fallen to the floor and draping it around the shoulders of the young Jedi. She would be lying if she said the connection between her son and Rey hadn’t intrigued her and later led her to feel a certain closeness with the girl...All she wanted in the world was to rescue her son, and it was the one task she seemed incapable of. She, Leia, general of the rebels, royalty, diplomat, mother and wife had been unable to protect that which was closest to her heart, her child. 

The general looked down at her son’s face, pale, apart from an angry red scar which spread its way across his features. The years she would have traded in order to have been there for him, though she blamed herself entirely for his loss...Snoke had taken him from her, tortured him, convinced him of his supremacy, taken his humanity, both torn apart and built up his ego, assimilating him with his energy into a dark force which danced around the Sith. She blamed herself for not keeping him closer to him, forever letting him feel so alone that he would seek comfort in the enemies open arms. She shook her head, trying to dislodge the unhelpful thoughts from her head. He was here now, and there was nothing she could to do alter the past. 

  
  


Rey woke from her fitful sleep suddenly, feeling Ben’s energy shift, suddenly she could feel a real presence in the room with her. She sat up quickly, her heart catching in her chest as she saw Ben’s eyes opening and closing groggily, the drip he was attached to learning blue to signal his consciousness. He looked confused, and in pain, suddenly aware of his unhealed injuries for the first time.

“R-Rey?” Ben croaked, his voice husky and brittle from lack of use. It hurt to speak, his throat protesting the sudden activity. In fact, everything hurt. Though he had no memories of his own as to the events which led to his presence in the Rebel Base medical wing his weakened sleepy mind couldn’t help but sponge up all of Rey’s memories replaying impossibly fast in her mind as she stared at him, eyes wide in shock. Ben jumped in pain and surprise as the other force user wrapped him in her arms, pressing herself against him in a bearhug. 

“Ben, you’re here,” Rey breathed, tears again in her eyes, her face pressed into his shoulder and she felt his arms wrap clumsily around her, the confusion and understanding simultaneously rolling off the man in waves. She knew he had been aware of their connection as well, understanding dawning on him through previous interactions. “I was so afraid you’d never wake up,” Rey said, pulling back and standing up. “I’ll go tell your mother you’re awake.” Rey turned on her heal, not waiting for a replying, hurrying through the base. She wiped the tears quickly from her eyes, too happy to scold herself for the show of emotion. ‘He’s here now,’ Rey thought has she arrived at the general’s quarters. 

  
  
  


Ben lay back, suddenly aware of the pain he was in and though it was not excruciating it was not pleasant. He could hear Rey’s soft footsteps coming closer again, accompanied by those of his mother. He tried to focus on them, however, his head felt oddly wobbly...he was disconnected and unable to grasp at the force around him only aware of its presence. For once instead of comforting warmth, he felt like he was drowning in it, the faint buzz that had always been present in his life, the electricity which was part of him. 

Ben’s breathing hitched in his throat, suddenly his breathes coming too fast for his lungs to keep up, his eyes watering. He felt like he was fading in and out of reality as if half of him were stuck on a Star Destroyer with his tormenters floating through space some years prior. He felt dirty even in the presence of Hux, feeling small and young. He could feel his skin crawling where he had been marked the afternoon prior, and now Hux was needling him again, pushing all the buttons that he knew all too well would set Kylo off and make him susceptible to being used. Ben could feel something snapping, feel the energy ripping through him and pushing out circling the mousy blond, wrapping itself around his throat and pushing him against the wall with a heavy thud. Hux’s eyes bulged as he struggled, his face red and then blue, and still Kylo didn’t release his grip, only clenching his first harder and watching the man struggle. 

“Do. Not. Touch. Me,” Kylo growled between gritted teeth, dropping Hux to the ground with a loud crash. He felt powerful as he saw the realisation dawn on the other man, feeling powerful for the first time…”Never touch me again, ever.” 

Ben shuddered back into the present, finding himself in a seated position held tightly in Rey’s arms as his mother looked on, tears in her eyes. He felt slick tears gliding down his own cheeks, and he wrapped his arms around Rey. “Please,” he whispered, resting his head on her shoulder even though it was quite a drop. “Don’t leave, don’t let,” he stuttered to a stop realising that Leia was looking intently at them both. Rey must have told her the story, Rey must have seen what he was remembering, seen him reliving when he was weakest. “Don’t let them touch me.” 

  
  


Leia felt anger rising in her throat. While she had imagined what her son had been through, while she had speculated his reasoning for leaving her and his training and abandoning the family. Running away from the immense pressure she was only just now realising she had placed on his young shoulders...running straight to the nearest rebellion he could find, only to find it was so, so much worse. She had driven him too that life, her expectations too high, putting too much and someone so young. Leia wouldn’t admit it but she had blamed herself for his running away all those years ago, and now, here he was sitting in front of her broken and crying softly. He was her baby Ben, not Kylo Ren destroyer of planets. 

Rey brushed Ben’s matted hair out of his face. She held him to her tightly with her other arm, whispering that she would never let them touch him, that they would never be near him again. She felt him shaking, his hands grasping at her arms, his head leaving a wet mark on her shoulder from where his tears were pooling in her collar bone. She felt the bed sink again as Leia sat down on the edge of the bed, almost as if she felt she shouldn’t be there, her movements tentative. 

Rey could feel Leia’s emotions twisting, feeling that she was not deserving of sitting next to her son now, after everything he had been through. She could feel the confusion, the turmoil that she was going through in her mind, the inability to reconcile her feelings about Kylo Ren, destroyer of worlds, and her son, Ben, crying in front of her. Rey tried her best to send out calming thoughts to the individuals in the room with her. She saw Leia’s hand tentatively on Ben’s shoulder, felt him stiffen slightly against her. She saw the look of hurt on Leia’s face as she withdrew her hand, instead of placing it in her lap and beginning to speak. 

“You both were bonded with the force from the beginning,” she observed, speaking quietly almost as if she was speaking to herself and not the other occupants of the room. “You have been together in mind since you were very young, constants in each other’s lives...It’s understandable that you would feel connected, bonded friends,” she mused, twisting her robes in her lap. “In fact, maybe, more so now that your very life force in intertwined.” She looked at Rey, and Ben, noting that he was no longer crying, rather trying to regain composure, suddenly looking young and exhausted, pale even against Rey’s white-clothed shoulder. He was visibly putting most of his weight on the smaller force user. 

“I know I should have told you, once I realised who it was in my head,” Rey breathed, looking at Leia. She saw the older woman’s face crease in pain, regret. Rey hadn’t told Leia who it was she was connected to, hadn’t mentioned it in any of their late-night conversations, in fact she had avoided the topic entirely for the years they had known each other. The older woman had only become aware of it accidentally after Rey had been able to talk about her son as if she had known him, been there his whole life. “I’m sorry.” 

“Please don’t be, Rey,” Leia said, her face warm. “You were there for him when I could not be, and, in the end, you helped bring him back to me. Thank you.” 

Ben looked like he was once again floating between sleep and waking, breathing heavily. He could hear his mother speaking, feel the force relaxing around him as Rey projected herself around the room, surrounding him in her familiar warmth. He could feel his mother there too, though she was floating in his peripheral vision. He reached out, his hand shaking, placing it in her lap and allowing her to wrap her smaller on around his, feeling her strange yet comforting energy swirling around them both. 

“Thank you, both. Thank you for saving me,” Ben croaked, his voice sounding like gravel in his throat, his breathes wheezing, his chest constricting with the effort. He lay back in the bed, the effort of speaking following his outburst of panic and confusion exacerbating the exhaustion caused by the wounds and infection wracking his body. Despite the best of the rebels medical care, the near-complete loss of life force had taken a toll on his ability to heal. 

Rey and Leia met eyes, a silent promise passing between them that nothing would be allowed to happen to Ben ever again under either of their watchful eyes. Ben felt himself falling back to sleep...the first actually restful sleep he had had in years, comforted by the presence of his closest friend (strange as it sounded, Rey was indeed his closest friend, party to years of his deepest thoughts) and his mother, her hand still wrapped carefully around his larger one. For the first time any of them could remember there was peace, both in the universe falling the destruction of the Sith and the last of the remaining Star Destoyers of the First Order, and in the Rebel Base with the return of the lost Solo. 

**Author's Note:**

> comments would absolutely make my day!


End file.
